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Payback Emails

We all know someone with a problem or someone who offends us, but we're not always able to express our discomfort with these people. Allow ThePayback.com to do the "dirty work" and get your message to them. All while preserving you anonymity, unless you tell us to include your name!


Mean Boss  

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear  (your boss here),
     . . . It is  not known what junior college you received your education from, but it is obvious that you did not gain any schooling on people management. . .  Your managerial skills are so poor that your employees are surprised that you have survived this long in the corporate world. . .  Sometimes they question the intelligence of this company for hiring such an incompetent ass such as yourself. . .

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (your boss),
        . . .You seem to be a mean boss and your employee does not know how long they can work for you if you don't correct this problem. . .Due to the demand a boss's role can put on people, stress levels can get high without you noticing the change. . .One easy recommendation is to read a book on communication and management skills. . .


Bad Breath

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear  (whoever),
        . . .Someone wants you to know that your breaths smells like death.   Your breath really smells horrible and you would do a service to the world if you brushed your teeth more than the recommended two times a day. . .   The odor of your breath gives the impression that you not only neglect brushing, but that you spend time eating terribly abnormal things like animal feces. . .

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever):
        . . .A friend of yours is concerned about a problem you have and wants to help you. . .You seem to have a problem called Halitosis, common known as bad breath. . .   There are solutions to this problem, and your friend would like to help. . .  To help control or eliminate this problem, you should brush your teeth at least two times daily. .  .  Remember, your friend did not want to hurt your feelings-- that's why they had ThePayback.com send you this anonymously.  . .


Body Odor

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),
          . . .Your body odor is so foul that I would rather smell babies diapers for a living than stand next to you for more than 10 seconds. . . I do know where you are from, but in America we shower regularly and use soap-- please change your ways. . .   

Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
         . . .You seem to have a problem with controlling your body odor. . .You may not know you have this problem, but others do. . .the causes of body odor are numerous and varying. . .To help control or eliminate this problem, you should shower daily or maybe twice daily. . .   


Always Late

Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
         
. . .  Your tardiness is an embarrassment to anyone that socializes with you. . . In America, we show up when we say we are going to.  If you cannot accept this, please go to another country that tolerates constant lateness. . .Absolutely no one can count on you to be somewhere when you say you will. . .  

Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
      . . . A friend of your is concerned about a problem you have and wants to help you. . .You seem to have a problem with always arriving late. . .Your tardiness directly affects a number of people and indirectly effects scores of others. . .a planner would be a wise investment, as they aid in establishing proper time management. . .   


Annoying Co-Worker

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),
         . . .Working with you is similar to listening to the same song for 48 hours straight. . .If I had not learned to avoid you as much as possible, your personality would have forced me to quit by now. . . It would be more humane to have a co-worker eternally listen to the sound of fingernails scratching against a chalkboard, than to have them work with you. . .   

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),
       . . .You seem to have a problem with annoying your co-workers.  You may not know you have this problem, but others do and it's affecting your relationships with people at your job. . .To help control or eliminate this problem, you should bring something to work to occupy your time during breaks or anytime you have extended free time. . .It's not that your co-workers don't like you, it's just that the office can get a little hectic at times and sometimes you do not help the situation. . .


Bad Haircut      

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear (your barber),
        . . .You need to get you eyes check by a licensed eye doctor because some is terribly wrong with your hand-to-eye coordination. . .  Perhaps you have the shakes??. . . I could have cut my own hair with a blindfold on and done a better job than you. . .

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (your barber),
           . . .When people leave the barbershop, they expect to look as they pictured in their minds before the haircut.  Sometimes that can be a hard standard to live up to, but if it is a current style, it should not be too difficult for an average barber. . .always cut the customer's hair in the style that they request.  Even if you have a style that you think they would look better in, it is usually not worth it to try and see.   


Pest

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),
        . . .In life there are those of us that were not blessed with any social skills.  You are one of those people. . . Talking to you is a complete waste of my time. . .  Please think before you speak,. . .You will please everyone by keeping quiet and staying to yourself.

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),
        . . .This friend really cares about you and your feelings, but believes that they would not really be a friend if they did not help you solve this problem. . .People can be classified as pests for a variety of reasons. . .Some people fail to listen and instead dominate an entire conversation. . .To help control or eliminate this problem, maybe you think about expanding your network of friends so that you can distribute your time amongst them all. . . 


Mean Police Officer 

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear (Officer Whoever),
         . . .Hi swine, my interaction with you was less than stellar. . . You wonder why people hate cops. . .Not only are you incompetent, you also lack basic people skills. . .Pigs like you never had control of your own lives, so you abuse you power as an officer.

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (Officer Whoever),
          . . .You seem to be a poor police officer and your friend believes it is very important to your success and reputation that you correct this problem. . .Some people you deal with have a dislike for police ingrained in them and this can make it very hard to handle those situations appropriately. . .To become the best police officer that you can, there are many things you can do. . . 


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