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Revenge Stories #55

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Revenge Story #55

I once contracted food poisoning from a restaurant and the owner refused to return my calls when I recovered. I wasn't seeking damages just a simple explanation and acknowledgement that I was hospitalized.. His failure to return a simple phone call broadcasted his establishment's guilt.

I found out his name and went to work: I cut my city's logo out of the phone book as well as the local police dept.'s logo. I pasted them in each top corner of a sheet of paper and Xeroxed it. I then put white-out over the rough-looking areas and recopied it. This gave me a clean copy of what would soon appear to be an ' official document". With the aid of my computer, I chose the appropriate fonts and typed the following: ( the name's changed for obvious reasons here)


Ohio Statute 35678-hu requires that the City of Akron distribute this public alert concerning ROBERT KITTER of 345 TALON DRIVE.

ROBERT KITTER was convicted of first degree child molestation and performing lude and lascivious acts on a male minor, aged 5 years old, on January 13, 1996.

State case 3488765438 records show ROBERT KITTER served 14 months in jail and is currently serving a 3 year probation where he is not allowed to associate alone with minors of either sex without supervision.

ROBERT KITTER is the owner/operator of JAKE'S SEAFOOD , 77 GULF LANE. Any suspected violations of his probation can be reported to the Akron Police Dept. @ 217-555-6739.

[end of flyer]

I ran about 100 copies off and visited the busy restaurant. I went immediately to the Men's room and my wife to the Ladies'. We posted them in all the stalls as well as the public phone area. We nonchalantly strolled outside and put one under the wiper of each car in the lot (it was nighttime). We strolled down the street and stopped in each restaurant and establishment and taped them up in every bathroom without drawing any attention. As we cruised down the street we put one in every mailbox on the block.

We left and drove immediately to his neighborhood about 15 minutes away. We found his home address in the white pages, poor bast#rd! We folded one up neatly and placed it under every wiper blade on his block, both sides of the street until we exhausted our supply. Need I say more. Think about the looks he must get to this day! Think about the mayhem in his very own restaurant!

Should've returned my call, Rob!

(You completely made his sorry-ass pay for not calling you after he poisoned you! In the words of the WWF star the RoadDogg, "Oh you didn't know? Your ass better call somebody!!!" Next time, I'm sure he will. Great story!--


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