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Revenge Stories #37

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Revenge Story #37

I never had the nerve to actually carry out this revenge, but it still makes for a funny story.

For months after I first moved here, I would get phone calls for a Sargeant Major Hererra; I felt as if the entire army was calling me one by one! And I worked night at the time, so they would usually call at a time when they disturbed my sleep! Many of them even left long, detailed messages on my answering machine, even though answering message doesn't sound anything like a tough army sargeant! No matter how often I told them there was no such person here, more of them kept calling me! So I cooked up 2 possible stories I could tell them to get these folks off my back!

Story #1: Sorry, but Sgt. Major Hererra has been sent on a top secret mission to the Middle East. I shouldn't even be telling you this, but he is not likely to return. (I know, kind of nasty. That's why I never did it).

Story #2: Well, I'm really not supposed to tell anyone, but he has been placed in the witness protection program; has a whole new identity and everything! But they haven't told any of us peons what his new name is, it's all very hush-hush y'know! Actually, I should probably warn you that everyone who calls this number from here on is going to be subjected to an intense investigation with the IRS and FBI.

I never had the nerve to try either of them. The second one, I thought for sure, might end up getting me in some kind of high-powered trouble! So I figured it definitely wasn't worth it! But still pretty funny! Enjoy!

(Thanks buddy! You were "probably" right in not doing either of those pranks. It may have been a short term fix, but history shows us that the government does not have the best sense of humor! --


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